Nicole/ September 26, 2018/ Mind/ 0 comments

There is a lot of talk and activism throughout the internet about bullying. Bullying can be devastating!
But what do you do if you’re the one bullying yourself?

How you talk to yourself matters! In fact, it matters more than how other people talk to you.
Yes… How you talk to yourself could actually be keeping you from being happy.

Have you heard about the experiment where someone spoke to two house plants every day?

One was told positive things; the other was told negative things. After a week, the positive one thrived, while the negative one shriveled.

Whether or not you believe experiment actually happened, the results are spot on and speak volumes about the power of the spoken word. When you speak negativity to yourself, you will be miserable and stuck where you are in life. When you speak positively to yourself, you grow as an individual and feel better about yourself.

Speak it and it will be. Then oil up, because the little smelly bottles we love here at EssentialOils.Life really do work at helping you break through these 10 barriers that are silently holding you back.

Here is my list of the 10 phrases that keep you from being happy, and how to turn it around.

1. I can’t.

Stop saying you “can’t.” Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.
Oh, and yes, you can!

Whether you don’t want to, don’t know how to, or don’t understand, there is always a way around the barriers you put in place for yourself. So knock down those barriers and move forward. You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for.

If its something you shouldn’t or don’t want to do, acknowledge it and move on. You don’t have to do everything… there are plenty of ways to outsource most tasks to give you the time you need to take care of the things you do want to do. And if you don’t have the means to outsource, then we need to have a little talk about ways you can increase your income so affording help is a reality for you. If its something you genuinely feel you “can’t” do and have a case of the “I wants…” figure out why you “can’t,” than plot how to overcome those barriers.

Chances are, if you take the risk, you will be amazed by your true capabilities.

Essential Oil We Recommend: Valor Essential Oil Blend. Whether you’re taking an exam, walking into an interview, doing something new, or stepping outside your comfort zone, Valor goes a long way to boosting your confidence and being true to yourself.

Affirmation: I am worthy. I am ready. I can do this.

RECOMMENDED POST >> Boost Your Confidence and Self-Esteem with Valor Essential Oil Blend

2. S/He is better than me.

First off… Stop comparing yourself to others! We are all born with our own strengths and gifts. Don’t waste life away wishing you were someone else when you have your own beauty to let shine in this world.

You are beautiful. You are smart. You are talented. You are enough.Click To Tweet

The only person you should be comparing yourself to is who you were yesterday. Look at who you were yesterday, last week, last month, last year, and last decade. Do you like how you’ve changed? If so, take a moment and be proud. If not, whether your 15 or 80, it’s never too late to start working on the best version of you.

Essential Oils and Blends we recommend: Frankincense essential oil. Joy, Sensation, Transformation, and/or Valor essential oil blends.

Affirmations we recommend: I am enough. I am love. I love myself. I love my life. I am needed. I am worthy of being happy. I am worthy of loving myself.

RECOMMENDED POST >> Frankincense Essential Oil

3. I’m a failure. Or I keep failing.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No! You are not a failure.
Failure is not a noun, nor is it an adjective. You have only failed something if you stop trying. The pep-talk aside… often “failure” is what is needed to teach us valuable life lessons that would otherwise go un-learned… and often “failure” is nature/life/universe’s way of telling you that you’re off-track. My “failed” Navy career allowed me to redirect my life’s course to provide me with the humble capacity to help other people sift through their lives and transform into the beautiful souls you are filled with purpose, wellness, and happiness. Failure is a blessing. Every successful person has experienced it in one point of time.

Have you stopped trying? Maybe you just needed a break to clear your mind. Clear your head, regroup, and start again. Then keep trying until you succeed.

Even the most successful people throughout history have laundry lists of failed attempts, but they succeeded because they learned from their prior mistakes and kept trying until they succeeded

Essential Oils we recommend: Acceptance, Joy, Motivation, Sensation, Transformation, or Valor Essential Oils.

Affirmations we recommend: Love defines my life. I have purpose. I am worthy of success. I am worthy of happiness. My life is worth living.

4. I deserve to fail.

No, you don’t. You deserve the fruits of your labor.

If there is something you really want, pray about it and put in the work needed to achieve it.
Look back at #3. You’ve only failed when you stop trying.

Maybe you need to readjust your methods or alter your endgame. Remember the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.

Don’t be afraid to change your approach. Changing directions and learning from failed attempts doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means you learned from mistakes.

Essential Oils we recommend: Joy, Motivation, Sensation, Transformation, or Valor Essential Oils.

Affirmations we recommend: Love defines my life. I have purpose. I am worthy of success. I am worthy of happiness. My life is worth living.

5. No one could ever like/love someone like me.

I remember all too well how this feels… Listen carefully: that statement is NOT true. It does, however, scream how badly you need to be alone and focus on yourself and your own personal development journey.
​Seriously… improving yourself helps in so many ways.

  • You need time to figure yourself out.
  • Date yourself (I know, it sounds silly, but you deserve to pamper yourself and to spend some quality time figuring out you).
  • Take the time to learn to be happy in your own skin; time to learn to love yourself.
  • Don’t wait for someone else to come in and “make” you happy will only set you up for future problems and heartbreak.

Happiness comes from within and grows stronger when you find someone to share your happiness with.

Essential Oils we recommend: lavender, frankincense, and ylang ylang are fantastic essential oils to help with relearning how to love yourself. Forgiveness, Joy, Oola Fitness, and Sensation Essential Oil Blends are great to use too if you don’t want to make your own blends… plus they smell incredible (great to use as cologne/perfume! Lady Sclereol is another great essential oil blend for women.

Affirmations we recommend: I am love. I love myself. I love my life. I have purpose. I am worthy of love. I am open to receiving love.

Not happy with life? We noticed 10 key phrases that prevent happiness, and found some great ways around them to reclaim your life so you can live happier, healthier, and more productive.

6. I deserve to be alone.

Re read #5 until it sinks in. And then read it again.

We all deserve and need some alone time, but let’s face it- the context that this phrase is often set in is more often than not dwelling in a pity party and searching for sympathy.
Read #5 again. Get to know you and learn to be happy in your skin. Happiness comes from within, not from anyone else.

On the flip side of that coin, sometimes the best gifts in life are unanswered prayers. Just maybe that person you so desperately want to be with isn’t the person you need or should be with. You’ll be thankful one day that it didn’t work out.

Instead, take a trip to the local animal shelter and take home a dog (or cat, if that’s what you’re into). Animals are great companions to help make you feel not so alone. They don’t judge and have so much to teach us about ourselves and relationships.

Essential Oils we recommend: lavender, frankincense, and ylang ylang are fantastic essential oils to help with relearning how to love yourself. Forgiveness, Hope, Joy, and Sensation Essential Oil Blends are great to use too if you don’t want to make your own blends… plus they smell incredible (great to use as cologne/perfume! Lady Sclereol is another great essential oil blend for women.

Affirmations we recommend: I am love. I love myself. I love my life. I have purpose. I am worthy of love. I am open to receiving love.

7. I’m just too tired.

So take a nap, then refocus. Tired, but not sleepy? Go spend some time in nature. Spending time taking a nature walk will do wonders to rejuvenate your weary soul, get you grounded, and help uplift you in ways you would never expect.

Why are you so tired? Is there an underlying problem making you tired or have you lost focus and motivation?

If you’re chronically tired and don’t know why, consider consulting with a doctor or chiropractor. Also, look into your diet and see if you’re eating enough and balanced, and check for chemicals lurking in your food. Consider giving up certain foods like dairy, gluten, sugar, and processed foods for a trial period to see if that helps.

Healthy Home, Happy Life online course teaches you all about how to identify toxic ingredients in common household products, including cleaners, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, soaps, skin care, cosmetics, hair care, and laundry products. It provides lists of chemicals to avoid, how to read labels, and suggest safe alternatives.

Other times it could just be something as simple as putting too much energy into attempts at doing things that just don’t work. ​Taking a break and reassessing your approach and altering your direction may be just what you need. Diving into a personal development journey does a lot to help with this too!

My life turned upside down with chronic illness and pain that stopped me from living to my fullest. I managed to recover through seeking a natural health lifestyle and found a ton of information about how different products we use in our homes can affect our bodies. Often when you’re just tired (not because of stress or strenuous activity) it is because our bodies are bogged down with toxins. During that journey, I found some great tips for helping increase energy through helping your body heal from feeling bogged down by toxins, and through using essential oils.

Essential Oils we recommend: basil, peppermint, myrtle, and nutmeg are fantastic essential oils to help with boosting energy. En-R-Gee and Oola Fitness Essential Oil Blends are great to use too if you don’t want to make your own blends. These blends help support your adrenal functioning, which supports your body in being capable of having more energy and providing your mind with the ability to think more clearly.

Affirmations we recommend: I am love. I love myself. I love my life. I have purpose. I am worthy of love.

8. I have no motivation.

Have you just lost focus and motivation?

Would you rather ignore the world and watch TV. Ok. Take a break. Rest. Dream.
Dream that big dream.

That huge dream… the one where you realize what you want out of life – the bigger the dream and the more you want that dream to come true, the better.

Hold onto that dream. Print out as much as you can find about that dream and tack it to a cork board or put it on the fridge with some magnets. Imagine living that dream – in thorough detail.

Then ask yourself “why?” Why do you want this dream? And break it down again… why is the reason you want that dream important to you. That raw, real, emotional reason… that is your motivation… that is what to focus on…

Did that help motivate you?

Now, what do you need to achieve it? What is holding you back?

Make a game plan and take a risk. Yes, it really is that easy. With hard work, dedication, and a “road map” to where you want to be and how, you are well on your way to accomplishing those goals!

Essential Oils we recommend: myrrh, basil, peppermint, and frankincense are fantastic essential oils to help with finding your “get up and go.” Envision, Magnify Your Purpose, Motivation, and Live Your Passion Essential Oil Blends are great to use too if you don’t want to make your own blends.

Affirmations we recommend: I am worthy of accomplishment. I deserve to accomplish my goals. I am a needed member of my society. The world needs my strengths. I deserve to share my vision with the world.

9. I don’t care anymore.

I get it. You’re overwhelmed to the point where shutting down and not caring is easier.
This is the easiest way to lose complete control and spiral down into a depression.

This phrase shows that you need a new plan of attack, and possibly a change in scenery too.
Whether you have social turmoil that needs to be addressed or the house is falling apart… know that you can handle this… but first take a break, grab some tea (or coffee, or glass of wine/beer – whatever helps you relax and clear your head… for me, that’s tea).

Break up that overwhelming “to do” list into smaller, more achievable goals and don’t be afraid or embarrassed to reach out to your support system, whether that consists of family, friends, new acquaintances or all of the above.

Have you heard the old adage: “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer: one bite at a time.
De-clutter your stuff and your life, then start again from a refreshed mindset and adjust as needed.

Essential Oils we recommend: frankincense, Palo Santo, frankincense, geranium, lavender, sandalwood, lavender, myrrh, and Melissa essential oils. SARA, Trauma Life, Release, Inner child, humility, Grounding, Harmony, Hope, Forgiveness, Brain Power, 3 Wise Men and/or Valor Essential Oil Blends are great to use too if you don’t want to make your own blends.

Affirmations we recommend: I am love. I love myself. I love my life. I have purpose. I am worthy of love. I care about my life. I am open to receiving positive events in my life.

10. I don’t have time.

You’d be surprised how much time you have. We all are given the same 24 hours each day… it is up to you to choose what you do with yours.

We prioritize time for what we find to be important, though sometimes we need to realize how to use our time more efficiently.

Maybe you’re losing hours by being sucked into keeping up with social media (lets face it… there is no other time warp quite like Pinterest). Maybe time melts while your favorite TV shows are on. Maybe you stay home with the kids and suddenly out of no where its bed time and you’re exhausted.

Although each of these have haunted me at some point in my life (or a few…), this last one is one I struggle with the most, especially having a two small children at home with me throughout the day. They are mobile, energetic, and curious enough to get into everything all the time, but not quite old enough to keep themselves entertained and out of trouble long enough for me to accomplish much of anything (which is why my posts have been published a bit sporadically). I focus on the baby and toddler; I focus on keeping the house as clean and organized as possible while frequently moving for my husband’s work needs; and I focus on working from home and this blog.

There never seems to be enough time in the day, which reflects in my lack of posting consistently. I am, however, continually learning new strategies and prioritizing my family and clients, maximize my efficiency, make the best with what I can. I encourage you to do the same.

Accept the fact that everything on your to-do list doesn’t necessarily NEED to be done right now. It’s ok to leave the dishes and vacuuming for a while longer when your child needs snuggles or you just need a few moments of peace. This too is a season that will change soon and as new seasons come, we learn to adapt and find a rhythm that works for us.

Essential Oils we recommend: grapefruit, jasmine, juniper, lavender, Palo Santo, Roman chamomile, sandalwood, tangerine, and ylang ylang essential oils. Acceptance, Believe, Hope, Release, Peace and Calming, Sacred Mountain, Transformation, and Valor Essential Oil Blends are great to use too if you don’t want to make your own blends.

Affirmations we recommend: I have time. I value my time. I value myself.

Everything in this life is temporary.

Change may be difficult, but our environment (social, physical, and economical) is constantly changing, requiring us to constantly adapt.

Habits are formed and broken every day. Ditch the habit of bullying yourself. Of all the people to try to bring you down, it shouldn’t be coming from yourself.

Build yourself up. Each day say something nice to your reflection and make eye contact. Dry erase markers are perfect to use to write yourself notes on mirrors. Affirmations are much more powerful when you look into the mirror, making eye contact with your reflection. The essential oils suggested are great to use with the affirmations as well, then we recommend choosing one of the blends to use as a perfume or cologne (we love using diffusing jewelry for that).

Everyday look into the eyes of your reflection and say something genuine, positive, and motivating.

What can you do to improve the way you speak to yourself? Let us know in the comments if you’re already working on relearning to love yourself or how you’re going to get started!


Take the guesswork out of finding a healthy lifestyles and essential oils coach.

If you found this post valuable and would like to see more posts like it, please comment and share.

Nicole

P.S. If you are ready to make some changes in your life to embrace positivity and abundant success, be sure to let us know by heading over to our Contact Us and ask about scheduling your free consult.

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About Nicole

I am a wife, a mom, and a curious mind with an extensive background in research and analysis. I enjoy creating things, cooking, teaching, personal development, and natural preventative health. I'm also a huge information nerd and love to share my findings with others.

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