Do you ever second guess yourself, especially when it is time to take an exam or attend an interview? Or maybe you end up stuck circling ideas in your mind before giving a presentation.
I’ll never forget growing up as that kid… the shy one who really didn’t want to talk to much of anyone… paralyzed in fear. As time went by, I stepped out of my comfort zone more and more (mostly thanks to my involvement in band). I’ve always felt I do my best work from behind the scenes, but when venturing into adulthood, sometimes that isn’t as easy as it once was.
After enlisting in the Navy, I embodied the advice of “fake it until you make it” when it came to confidently carrying myself appropriately through moments of being in the spotlight, and assignments calling me to lead small to moderate sized teams. While forcing myself to appear confident and acquiring the knowledge and skills I needed to perform my job more confidently, I ended up gaining more confidence naturally. Well… for a while…
My whole life was turned upside down when I was 22. I was stationed overseas in the Middle East when I began randomly falling unconscious. One health ailment lead to another, and 3 years later, I was forced out of the Navy with zero benefits because of a complex autoimmune and neurological health crisis. I joined the military physically feeling invincible, easily lifting twice my weight, running 6 miles at a time, and loving every moment of my fitness routine. Next thing I knew, I couldn’t even stand long enough to brush my teeth.
After leaving the Navy, I was told over and over again by numerous employers that I was unreliable because I couldn’t schedule my seizures. Then I struggled through college from all the head injuries from falling (over 1,000) impacted my short term memory. My confidence suffered severely as I forced myself to switch degrees from psychology to business just so I could continue on any degree path and receive my GI Bill that kept me from becoming homeless.
Living a life filled with quite literally second-guessing your every move is not something I’d wish on anyone. And surprisingly, after lifting my life out of the depths of Autoimmune Hell and into full recovery, I still felt the same nagging self-loathing lack of confidence. While everything changed… my lifestyle, my diet, my capabilities… something was missing. Something else needed to change. Yes, I was grateful for my healing, for walking unassisted after 8 years, and for the few people left in my life.. but something was missing. I still didn’t feel like I once had. That confident past 5’3″ petite limitless me that would never be my reality again.
I definitely needed something to help me carry myself more confidently. Something to help me kick off the cobwebs, rediscover who I am, and rediscover my soul purpose. I looked through the events that happened through my recovery, and reengaged with my deep love for analysis and strategy, and decided to stay on course with the same theme that helped me heal my body.
Searching for What Works Best
While yes, I could have gone for the typical Google answers for rebuilding my confidence… it wasn’t what I was looking for.
6 most popular ways to increase confidence:
- Visualize yourself as how you want to be. This wasn’t going to work for me. I didn’t even know what I could become after all I had been through. When I visualized what I wanted, I became angry, anxious, and resentful over what all was ripped out from under me. I wasn’t ready for the type of visualization I needed. If you’re feeling yourself in the same point in life, know it is 100% ok. You are exactly where you are meant to be on your journey.
- Affirmations. While yes, affirmations are great, it took me YEARS to realize most of us use them incorrectly or don’t truly believe what we are saying, and then randomly stop.
- Do something that scares you every day. For someone with anxiety, this can be pretty much everything all day. If you suffer with overwhelming anxiety, please make sure you’re also honoring yourself by having ample recovery time.
- Self-Care. It is important to do everything you can to set your future you up for as much success as possible… even if it is just meal planning and freezer meals. Self-care is you showing yourself how much you appreciate you and deserve the time you spend on yourself. It can have a profound impact. If you’re like me (a “spoonie”)… this is a way of life… a means of survival.
- Help Someone Else. This one is huge. Do what you can to benefit someone. It helps you feel good about yourself. Just don’t get caught into the trap like I did where you put more value on helping others than you do on yourself. It is easy to get caught up in volunteer work that doesn’t mean anything other than procrastinating on your own ventures and opportunities.
- Set Boundaries. This one is very important. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was because of not having boundaries (especially with family) that really cut through me. Yes, setting boundaries helps some… IF you draw that line hard in the sand and honor it completely even when it angers others.
Unfortunately while these ideas are all excellent advice… they weren’t what I needed.
I shifted my mindset to stop searching for what other people were doing to increase their confidence, and picked up where I left off with my healing journey, realizing my journey to renewed confidence is just that… continuing my healing journey… because life after autoimmune recovery isn’t something that anyone talks about. There are emotional traumas that happen when suffering from chronic illness… mostly self-inflicted, but there nonetheless.
My physical healing was mostly facilitated through using food as medicine by shifting my eating habits to embracing the Paleo diet and balancing the beneficial bacteria in my digestive system.
Its crazy… the quality of bacteria in your intestines actually improves your mood and behavior. As I continued to improve my gut health, my mind cleared up significantly more, as did my physical capabilities, and my confidence slowly grew… though in the back of my mind, I was still constantly nervous and self-conscious about the symptoms possibly popping up.
The rest of my healing was helped through eliminating avoidable harmful chemicals in our home, and using a few essential oils known for their ability to support your brain and nervous system.
I also used a LOT of essential oils for targeted healing. Mostly oils like Frankincense, Lemon, Lavender, and Peppermint.
Then, I found a specific essential oil blend tailored to brain health that is also known for helping you boost your confidence and self-esteem. In fact, it is often referred to as “confidence in a bottle.”
** PLEASE NOTE ** Don’t be fooled by clever marketing. Not all essential oils are created equally. Make sure you’re not wasting your money on fake essential oils, or oils diluted in questionable solvents (even if they’re labeled as “pure essential oil.” Don’t miss our complete guide on how to find quality essential oils to ensure you’re not wasting your money on brands of oils that legally carry out questionable or unethical practices and mislead you through deceitful marketing practices.
The do-it-all essential oil blend that doesn’t require ANY DIY.
This oil blend has a woodsy, grounding aroma that is great for massages, and other topical and aromatic uses. This blend inspires confident feelings, empowering the physical and spiritual aspects of your being. It helps you overcome fear, feeling anxious, and paralyzing internal opposition so you can feel tall, courageous, and confident. Valor inspires internal peaceful feelings, helping you regain inner calmness.
Physically, it may help align your body’s structure. It has often been referred to as “a chiropractor in a bottle” as well. I often use it by applying it down my spine before a chiropractor appointment because it has been proven to help adjustments last longer.
Valor Essential Oil Blend is a unique blend of:
- Black Spruce,
- Blue Tansy,
- Camphor Wood,
- Fractionated coconut oil (carrier oil that allows this oil to not need to be diluted)
What is the big deal about Valor??? It is the most popular, highly coveted essential oil blend! A true necessity for every home.
To see more about Valor, how to use it, and learn about what it can do for you… please head over to our Valor article where we discuss how to use it, FAQs, a DIY recipe, and where to find it.
My Personal Testimonial using Valor:
I absolutely LOVE Valor!!! It is absolutely incredible for helping me stay level-headed and confident, especially during times of uncertainty. I also use it prior to all my chiropractic adjustments to help support my spine and helps the adjustments last longer.
I buy it every month whether I need it or not, just in case it goes out of stock again. Last time it went out of stock, it took 12 months to get it back! Thank Goodness for Essential Rewards, helping me earn free product while creating my stash!
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