Fear. It holds you back from more than it should. Why? That is a great question! Personally, I feel as though we are more fearful than we need to be, largely because of societal expectations put on us at a young age.
Perhaps it is because as children we often hear “no” from our parents 13 times more than we hear “yes.”
Perhaps we spend more time trying to conform to be what everyone else expects us to be based on what other people would think, instead of being celebrated for who we are and following our passions in life.
Zig Ziglar says “fear is false evidence appearing real.” What does that even mean? Fear does feel very real. At times it can be overwhelmingly debilitating. However, just because you feel fearful doesn't mean that fear is fully justified.
“Fear is false evidence appearing real” – Zig Ziglar
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Fear of not being accepted. Fear of failing. Fear of succeeding. Fear of being different. Fear of being alone. Fear of not knowing. Fear of not abiding by someone else's expectations. Or even just feeling fearful without knowing why.
What do all those fears have in common? Not one of them will produce harm on anyone.
Fear is an instinct in place to keep us safe. When you feel scared, ask yourself if you or someone else will be physically hurt by what you're about to do. Is what you're about to do ethical? If no one will be hurt and you're not compromising your ethics… why do you feel afraid? If you can't answer that or it comes in some form of not conforming to expectations or the fear of failure… make a plan.
You can find this quote in the book: The Quest: Exploring A Sense of Soul.
When I started out on my entrepreneurial adventures, I felt terrified. My first few recorded and Facebook Live videos had me sitting in my chair for over 2 hours staring at the camera before beginning. Some of those videos it took me weeks to record just because I sat there staring at the camera whispering everything I wanted to teach on video, but fearfully unable to push record. Why? False evidence. People could decide they don't like what I have to say… and that is ok… my message isn't for everyone. People could walk away from me… but I've lost friends before because of health complications. What happened when I finally did it anyways? I provided valuable content to my wellness group members. No reason to have been afraid, and all it did was waste a ridiculous amount of time.
Tips To Overcome Fear
Understand it. Why are you feeling fearful? When we understand how we feel, it is often easier to find a way to overcome.
Redirect that energy into something productive that you *can* feel good about. Don't just try to hide it or ignore it or it will come back when you least expect in unexpected ways.
Make it fun. We all go through fearful moments, just like moments we need to push through even when all we want is a gallon of ice cream, large soft blanket, and to hide from the rest of the world. But if you make it fun, we tend to be able to push past the fear.
Love. I know how that sounds, but the actions of love truly can conquer those debilitating moments. Focus on your reason… the “why” behind what you're setting out to do. Love that reason, and go through what you need to with love in your heart, from a genuinely caring perspective.
Yoga, personal development, and aromatherapy can all help too, especially when you're to the point of continually living in a fearful state of mind! I know they've all helped me pull through some debilitating times.
Will you receive negative feedback? Quite possibly. But love them anyways. We all have our own experiences that guide us through the reasons why we do, think, and say certain things. Not everyone is going to agree with you, and that is ok.
The nice thing about negative feedback is it helps you grow… it is a form of personal development when not taken personally and used productively. When you're growing, you're on the right track. Other people may not be able to see what you see or feel like prioritizing what you prioritize, and that is ok too. We all are on different paths and in different places within our paths.
Let's hear from you!
What do you do when you're feeling overly fearful?